As the City of Oshkosh moves closer to selling off Lakeshore Golf Course so the Oshkosh Corporation has a sleek, modern headquarters to lure “young talent”, let’s start planning some other changes to cater to our new millennial neighbors. Here are some of the things that other cities are doing to “attract and retain” the next generation:
Streetcars–Millennials don’t own cars. They can’t afford them due to the colossal amount of student loan debt they took out to get their marketing degrees. So they expect the Government to provide for their transportation needs. Milwaukee is building theirs now because Portland built one and Portland is a “progressive city”. Just like Portland’s streetcar line, Milwaukee’s won’t ever break even because it doesn’t go through neighborhoods where people beside urban professionals would be able to ride it. The Oshkosh streetcar go run along Marion Road and down Main Street so the young folks don’t have to worry about stumbling home from the bars.
Densely concentrated housing–Millennials don’t own houses. They can’t afford them due to the colossal amount of student loan debt they took out for their sociology degrees. So they are only interested in dorm-like apartment complexes where they live stacked upon each other–somewhere near the streetcar line or close enough for them to walk to work or the bars (unless the weather is bad). They need to be pet-friendly for “fur babies” and they need to have rooftop party spaces. I guess Oshkosh homeowners are out of luck–since no one will be in the market to buy our property in the future.
Free Wi-Fi…everywhere–Young professionals today expect wi-fi for their multiple electronic devices anywhere–and they don’t expect to pay for it. Businesses unwilling to provide that can expect fewer customers–and the City itself will be asked to foot the bill for public wi-fi–since everyone has a “right” to broadband internet.
Delivery services–Millennials aren’t about going out to eat or going out to shop. There are video games to be played or a new season of Game of Thrones to binge watch on their tablets. So Oshkosh needs to have delivery service for everything. You want fresh sushi at 3:30 am? Somebody had better be open and have a delivery driver available. Grocery stores will need to have order pickers ready at a moments notice, and delivery vehicles idling in the parking lot because today’s shopper doesn’t expect to wait for their boxes of Lucky Charms and kale. Oshkosh may want to start working on its “drone corridor planning” now so local shops can compete with Amazon Prime.
Fewer schools and churches–Young Americans aren’t having kids because they can’t afford them. And they don’t have space for them in their densely-concentrated housing units. The Oshkosh School District can start planning now which facilities to close and tear down as enrollment numbers will surely drop. And our millennial friends aren’t too religious–so the rigid stained glass and steeple buildings can be torn down to make way for churches that more closely resemble social clubs–with workout facilities, coffee shops and religious philosophies that more closely adhere to the Democratic Party platform than the Bible.
A shiny new building on the lake alone won’t guarantee Oshkosh gets the “best and the brightest”. We need to be ready as a city to cater to Millennials’ every want and whim–as ever-changing as they may be–because they are used to getting pretty much everything they want.
